For as long as I can remember, I have loved to sing. It's my favorite thing to do in most situations - in the grocery store, in the shower, on a date... You get the picture. It's a release for me - it's therapeutic. I started writing music when I was in elementary school. My friends and I started a "band" called Bebe (embarrassing) and I would write songs for us to sing. Unfortunately for nine year old me, we never actually became a band. In fact, I never actually sang any of the songs that I wrote for my "bandmates". I kept them in a journal that I never shared with anyone for years.
In junior high school I got a guitar for my birthday. A beautiful baby Taylor guitar that I LOVED. I started to play and realized how difficult or, rather, impossible it is to become an expert at something overnight. Discouraged, I put the guitar practice off for years. Only within the past few years have I really tried to dedicate myself to getting better so that I can accompany myself. Though I have improved enough that I can create very basic accompaniment for myself, I don't feel extremely confident in my guitar performance abilities. Give me a microphone, a big crowd of people and I will sing for hours. But who wants to listen to hours of a capella me? I started to realize that achieving my music dream was going to be a lot more doable with the help of an expert - someone who knows music theory and composition and production.
Up until a couple of months ago, i've never been one to go out of my way to talk to someone I don't feel "comfortable" with. I don't know if it's the fear of rejection or the fear that I will be painfully awkward and red-faced, but i've really had to work on breaking out of my shell. A few weeks ago, I was at a film festival and an acquaintance approached me. He said he saw a video on my Facebook of me singing and started to ask about my music. I told him that I write, sing, play guitar poorly - but well enough that I can sing along to it. I actually told him, though, that I was stuck in a very frustrating and drawn out rut; that I felt like I couldn't expand out of this box I had placed myself in. I heard the music I wanted to make in my head but couldn't actually make it. I knew he was in a couple of bands, but he started to tell me more about his music studies. He plays multiple instruments, writes, sings, produces, synthesizes - everything I do and more. As the conversation went on, he asked me if I would be interested in working together - writing, recording, playing some shows. I graciously said yes, we exchanged information and I went to my seat. As the next couple of weeks went by, I was so nervous. I was nervous that I wouldn't be good enough, that I wouldn't be able to live up to his expectations or be able to bring anything to the table when we started to work.
FINALLY, this week, I texted him. "Hey! I don't know if you were serious about making music together or not, but I actually think it could be really great and definitely want to get together some time soon if you do." Scary... but he replied! He said he was more than serious and wanted to get together next week. We're both going to bring some songs to the meeting and see if we can nail down a sound that we want.
I am so excited, I really am. And I'm so glad that I got an extra push to drag myself out of this toxic rut that i've been stuck in. Things are only going up from here.
No comments:
Post a Comment